I went to the store the other day to find some special pants I want something special and new, none of those name brands So looked around until my eyes saw these very sparkly pants I paid $19.99 for a pair of mookie mookie pants Mookie mookie pants they make the world go round Mookie mookie pants they scale the world round-bound Mookie mookie pants I don't what they are I need to write a song this is so bizarre Oh alright, fuck. I didn't write a second verse for this fucking song Here let's see if I could just like sample something in from YouTube right here Here we go, I'll just sample this right here I won't even cut this out of the fucking recording So here we go we'll just play this You're not cooking Yeah you Porkchop sandwiches Oh shit get the fuck out of here What are you doing? Go get the fuck out of here you stupid idiot Fuck we're all dead get the fuck out My god did that smell good Detected there's no going and you tell me do things I done running That's good enough for me, I'll just fucking go back into the song from there Mookie mookie pants they make the world go round Mookie mookie pants they scale the world round-bound Mookie mookie pants I don't what they are I need to write a song this is so bizarre I need to write a song this is so bizarre I need to write a song this is so bizarre

There was a shirt on Casey's desk That had a post it note saying shirt He thought I wrote it but I really didn't He's a fucking dick for thinking that I really didn't write that note It was probably his dad or someone else If I wrote it I would tell him that I did I really didn't write that note Now that's a really funny concept A shirt with a note saying shirt It's pretty funny labeling things With post it notes I'll put a note on my couch That says "couch" and I'll put a note on my face That says "face" Yeah we'll label the world, you and me Put post it notes on everything that everything that exists We'll live in a world where everything is labeled And we'll live in a world filled with post it notes Yeah we'll live in a world filled with post it notes Yeah we'll live in a world filled with post it notes Yeah we'll live in a world filled with post it notes Yeah we'll live in a world filled with post it notes Yeah we'll label the world, you and me Put post it notes on everything that everything that exists We'll live in a world where everything is labeled And we'll live in a world filled with post it notes Yeah we'll live in a world filled with post it notes Yeah we'll live in a world filled with post it notes Yeah we'll live in a world filled with post it notes And Casey's shirt will have a note saying shirt

I looked at myself in the mirror this morning I looked and smelled like shit and my mouth was a yawning I was late to class, my teacher was getting fucking pissy I said, "I'm sorry, I was up late dreaming of a missy" And in that moment I felt infinite I felt great, like a Longines Symphonette Nothing could bring me down no matter how hard it tried Fuck you, I'm riding a happy ride tonight Working off my ass, making more money than I can spend I donate to charity to give some people a helping hand And I spend the rest on things that are going to kill me I'm going to die one day so why the fuck should I even worry And in that moment, I felt infinite Joyous and proud like a bass clarinet Nothing could bring me down no matter how hard it tried Fuck you, I'm riding a happy ride tonight I heard some stupid bitch bragging about what she's done in life It made me feel like shit, made me want to fucking die But then I look back and think of all the things I've done I wrote one Song-a-Week, you know, yeah I think I've won I haven't written about in over a month and it feels so good I don't have to worry about running into you in my neighborhood "Hey, how's the single life?" it's fucking great and I fucking love it I don't have to tell a fucking bitch to go away and fucking shove it And in this moment I feel infinite I feel great, like a Longines Symphonette Joyous and proud like a bass clarinet Fuck you, Pluto is totally a planet Nothing will bring me down, and you better not plan on it 'cause In this fucking moment I feel infinite I feel infinite I feel infinite I feel infinite Fuck you, I feel infinite

So I'm here sitting at work I'm 30 hours early and there's nothing to do I could eat a jar of mayonaise or sit here write a song about you Verse chorus verse chorus verse chorus bridge chorus yeah I've got a hit song Would you like to hear it oh wait it sounds a little wrong This line doesn't rhyme and it sounds real corny Maybe I'll scrap it write a new song next morning This job sucks I'll never make it real far Maybe I'll quit after I finish this jar Of mayonaise yeah screw you boss I'm out of here Gonna make a life as a musician hear me loud and clear I'm gonna be really big you'll hear my name in the newspapers I'll show the world how big I'll be, oh wait my life is a wager I have dreams I don't want to give up Like start my own business, do fashion make up Life's not a game, it only comes once Or maybe it is and I'm just a dunce? A dunce, a clown, a bear, a tree, a little pack of candy Who knows what it could be I'll put it in my mouth and eat it maybe Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I know one day I'm going to die So I won't sit here and lecture you with some bullshit lie When worse comes to worst I don't want to be here I want to be dead I want to disappear I'm manic, I'm a cynic, no one loves me If I had a funeral no one would see me Hey there, you know, you forgot someone here Someone who loves you, oh so dear Don't give up now, you're all that I have The day you leave is the day I'll be sad You know what, fuck the world, we both have the same problems We're sad, we're glad, we're mad, but most importantly you're my dad Let's stay up late and watch some shitty show like My Name is Earl I love you, you love me, we have the best of both worlds The best of both worlds The best of both worlds The best of both worlds The best of both

We've been friends since the beginning of time You've always been there for me and I know that you're mine We've had our ups and downs but we've overcome it all I've known you since I was 12 and I love you because You're so fucking cool and you're my best friend, yeah You're so fucking cool and you're my best friend, yeah I feel you're the person being who could feel my pain Your undying love and support really help me back on my feet And I feel bad when you're feeling down because I never know what to say I wish I could hug and tell you everything will be okay and You're so fucking cool and you're my best friend, yeah You're so fucking cool and you're my best friend, yeah I've seen you at your worst and you've seen me at my best You've seen me at my worst and I've seen you at your best We've been through everything in the past seven years And I'll be here for you until the day that I fucking die I can't explain the way that I love you But deep down in my heart I know you feel the same way too You're so fucking cool and you're my best friend, yeah You're so fucking cool and you're my best friend, yeah You're so fucking cool and you're my best friend, yeah You're so fucking cool and you're my best friend, yeah You're so fucking cool and you're my best friend, yeah

If the world ends tomorrow, I'll be happy knowing you're dead Knowing that no one else has to suffer at your own hands If the world ends tomorrow, then this will be my final song So I have to say everything that I've ever wanted to say If the world ends tomorrow, I don't know if I'll be happy or sad I never got to hold you or kiss your little lips Seventeen, three thousand miles away I never would've seen you anyway I'm not going to stop when the red lights flash Everything's getting turned to ash, so I might as well make it last If the world ends tomorrow, whatever the afterlife will bring Heaven, hell, purgatory, limbo, maybe there's no such thing If the world ends tomorrow, it's the way it has to be No more friends, family, or you and me Everything we've ever known and loved is burning down Might as well sit on a lawn chair and think about every happy moment in life If the world ends tomorrow, I hope you know you're the only one in my heart Sixteen, eighty miles away, I love you so much more than anything

Remember the nights We'd stay up till 5 AM Talking on the phone to each other We'd talk about the future And what it held for us How we'd get married And live happily ever after And when we got sleepy We'd still keep talking, oh yeah We'd fall asleep on each other And it'd be so fucking cute Yeah these good night calls were the best I'd never trade them for anything less A sign of true love A sign of how close we were We'd make up stories about our married life What we'd name our kids, how we would decorate our house How we would greet each other when we came home from work How we would vacation back to New York every summer And I miss every single moment of it But I don't miss you a single bit I just adore these memories They were seriously so fucking cute Yeah these good night calls were the best I'd never trade them for anything less A sign of true love A sign of how close we were And I miss every single moment of it But I don't miss you a single bit I just adore these memories They were seriously so fucking cute Yeah these good night calls were the best I'd never trade them for anything less A sign of true love A sign of how close we were Yeah these good night calls were the best I'd never trade them for anything less A sign of true love A sign of how close we were

I could list a million things I want to do before I die so here's a few I want to get married, have some kids, start a family with you I want to be the frontman of a famous touring punk rock band I want to play across the country, play a show in Oakland But who knows where I'm going in life Who knows when I'm going to die If I'll ever achieve the things I want to do If anything I want to die with you I want to write a million songs before I die so my kids will play them They'll play the songs I wrote for them, like The Rings of Saturn I want to see them grow up, graduate from school, and get married And I hope they'll live long enough to see me get buried But who knows where I'm going in life Who knows when I'm going to die If I'll ever achieve the things I want to do If anything I want to die with you I want to take a million pictures before I die and keep them in an album Pictures never change, not even the people inside them Preserve the memories, cherish them forever 'Cause when I die, I want something people will remember But who knows where I'm going in life Who knows when I'm going to die If I'll ever achieve the things I want to do If anything I want to die with you I want to die right next to you I want to die right next to you I want to die right next to you I want to die right next to you

I don't know what to write about Stupid song to write about My shoes are black my hair is orange No word rhymes with orange How will I get past this week With no song to write about How will I get past this week I don't know what to write about How will I get past this week Third line what to write about How will I get past this week Homestar Runner's cool I think he has a swimming pool They filled it up with jello once In the email winter pool I'm writing in a parking lot The one behind Home Depot It's fucking cold it's fucking cold Ahhhhhh How will I get past this week With no song to write about How will I get past this week I don't know what to write about How will I get past this week Third line what to write about How will I get past this week Colin hosts the open mic Casey rides a super bike I drive a big car I'll never make it really far I just got past this week I just wrote a fucking song I just got past this week I can't bullshit this next week I just got past this week I gotta stop being lazy I just wrote a fucking song

Ohhh, woah oh-oh-ohh I had a dream about you the other night Everything about you felt so real, everything felt so right The way you kissed me, the way your eyes twinkled in the light Our love was pumping and oh man, it was out of sight Ohhh, woah oh-oh-ohh A dream so lucid, so real, yet so unreal You leaped into my arms, I spun you around, it did not feel real We kissed like stereotypical lovers under the moonlit night sky It was amazing and perfect, I never wanted this dream to die Ohhh, woah oh-oh-ohh The night died down and you were to go back home I said, "hey can you wait up, I'd love to walk you back home" Our hands intertwined as we walked down the Brooklyn street I said what the hell and I picked you up and carried you home and you tweeted, "Ohhh, woah oh-oh-ohh" Every good thing must come to an end Soon I woke up and my thoughts started to transcend If this wasn't real then what could it be How could I have thought something so happily I want to go back I want to go back I want to go back yes I want to go back Ohhh, woah oh-oh-ohh I know in real life, maybe we're not meant to be But deep in my dreams we can still be you and me Ohhh, woah oh-oh-ohh Ohhh, woah oh-oh-ohh

I've been with a couple of girls before and none of them made me happy But I think you might be different You seem really nice, you seem like a total sweetheart And I think you'd be good for me So cancel all the plans you have tonight I'm finally going to make this right I'll take you out once I make this flight Can you please fly me to England tonight I've seen a million faces, some pretty and some not But I've never seen one like yours I've never met you but I know a lot about you And I really think you'd be good for me So cancel all the plans you have tonight I'm finally going to make this right I'll take you out once I make this flight Can you please fly me to England tonight I know you'll never ever want me I could never be the guy you want me to be There's a hundred thousand different girls out there And I know that one of them is meant for me So I'll cancel all the plans I had tonight I'm not going to make this right I'm going home after I cancel this flight I'm not flying out to England tonight

I tried to end my life a year ago Things were getting rough, it just goes to show I felt hopeless, thought things will never get better And by God, one year later, I never realized how right I would be This wasn't the first, and it wouldn't be the last Numerous trips to the emergency room Numerous of doctors know my name and they've heard my story Many of them continue to learn that I'm not getting better I've lost the confidence to ever trust myself to another woman I've been hurt too many times to go down that same ragged path again And at this point I wouldn't care if I die alone I'm a worthless totured artistic soul and I don't have a place to call a home Voices inside my head say I should just end it all End the pain, suffering, and all the bad memories suffocating me And if one day that I should pass, consider this my letter Every day that passes by, I realize that I'm not getting better When I'm feeling good, everything just crashes down Right on top of me, leaving me to drown Memories and people from my past fill up my lungs And I slowly lose my consciousness So my question is, is this ever going to end Will I live to see the age of 38 Or do you think I'll ever cave in and shoot myself Kill the demons inside my head and smear them against the wall Voices inside my head say I should just end it all End the pain, suffering, and all the bad memories suffocating me And if one day that I should pass, consider this my letter Every day that passes by, I realize that I'm not getting better Sometimes I wish someone would hit me with their car Or hold a gun to my head while they ask me to give them my money 'Cause I know I don't have what it takes to end this miserable excuse for a life So I hope for the worst and I hope for it to happen soon When I'm gone, I know that people will miss me They'll realize they took me for granted and regret the way they neglected me So I'll be blunt, I really want to die Why should I hope for the best if it's not going to get better? Voices inside my head say I should just end it all End the pain, suffering, and all the bad memories suffocating me And if one day that I should pass, consider this my letter Every day that passes by, I realize that I'm not getting better

How do I explain the happiness inside my heart How do I write it down or put it into words Can I maybe put a chord progression behind it And sing it to to you like a lullaby Thank you for coming out tonight Let me say this before they turn out the light Thank you for clapping, singing along, and cheering me on all night Thank you so much, and have a good night If anybody's playing after me, please stay and listen to them Otherwise let's give it up for everybody before me It's hard to stand up here and sing out every single feeling you've got So one more time just let me thank you a whole lot Thank you for coming out tonight Let me say this before they turn out the light Thank you for clapping, singing along, and cheering me on all night Thank you so much, and have a good night Thank you for coming out tonight Let me say this before they turn out the light Thank you for clapping, singing along, and cheering me on all night Thank you so much, and have a good night