So I'm here sitting at work I'm 30 hours early and there's nothing to do
I could eat a jar of mayonaise or sit here write a song about you
Verse chorus verse chorus verse chorus bridge chorus yeah I've got a hit song
Would you like to hear it oh wait it sounds a little wrong

This line doesn't rhyme and it sounds real corny
Maybe I'll scrap it write a new song next morning
This job sucks I'll never make it real far
Maybe I'll quit after I finish this jar

Of mayonaise yeah screw you boss I'm out of here
Gonna make a life as a musician hear me loud and clear
I'm gonna be really big you'll hear my name in the newspapers
I'll show the world how big I'll be, oh wait my life is a wager

I have dreams I don't want to give up
Like start my own business, do fashion make up
Life's not a game, it only comes once
Or maybe it is and I'm just a dunce?

A dunce, a clown, a bear, a tree, a little pack of candy
Who knows what it could be I'll put it in my mouth and eat it maybe
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I know one day I'm going to die
So I won't sit here and lecture you with some bullshit lie

When worse comes to worst I don't want to be here
I want to be dead I want to disappear
I'm manic, I'm a cynic, no one loves me
If I had a funeral no one would see me

Hey there, you know, you forgot someone here
Someone who loves you, oh so dear
Don't give up now, you're all that I have
The day you leave is the day I'll be sad

You know what, fuck the world, we both have the same problems
We're sad, we're glad, we're mad, but most importantly you're my dad
Let's stay up late and watch some shitty show like My Name is Earl
I love you, you love me, we have the best of both worlds

The best of both worlds
The best of both worlds
The best of both worlds
The best of both